This year alone, especially the last quarter of the year – I’ve had so many moments where it hit me smack across the face how much of an introvert I am. Of course, this was something I already knew and accepted but somehow this time around, whenever the realization hit me, I was slightly sad to be one and for some hot minutes there I felt like there was something wrong with me.
That’s the beginning of one of my many scribblings that I started last year. I was going to complete that with a speech about accepting myself that way and making peace with the fact that I would probably never be the life of the party & I might need extra pushing and prodding to get out of my shell a bit and that’s okay.
Really it is and while I’ve made peace with that, I had a shift in perspective recently that made me realize that I can be just as accepting of myself but without letting the introvert label limit me from doing some of the things I would love to do.
Let’s fast forward to that
The other day I updated my BBM personal message with “could this be the year I conquer my fear (for lack of a better word because it isn’t really a fear per se) of public speaking and video related things”. You see, being an introvert means that I’m not particularly a talkative person and I’m not exactly excited about things that involve me having to do a lot of talking which sucks because I envision myself doing videos and things that have to do with making speeches in the near future.
What prompted the PM? I had just gotten an invite to appear on a fashion segment on stv and while I was still contemplating how I was going to get out of that (because I said yes already), I got another to speak on a panel for the upcoming social media week and yet another to talk at my secondary school alumni event . While I realize the great potentials for exposure these opportunities hold for me, I’m always reluctant to leave my comfort zone. The introvert in me is always quick to draw out that “I’m not much of a talker shield”. I’ve done a couple of video and TV appearances before and now that I think of it, I do a good job motivating myself so kudos girl! *pats self*.
The day for the STV show shoot came and it found me dragging my feet around trying to think of ways to still get out of it but after some back and forth in my head trying to motivate myself, I decided to go for it and I’m really glad I did because midway into it, I realized that I’m not half as bad as I think I am when I really get into it and I can only get better at it by doing this more often.
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| With Uju of ursulasebastine.com |
You should do things that scare you not because you’re reckless, butbecause you’ll end up realizing how much you’re capable of – Jinna
I wasn’t sure what to wear and I started thinking of it in the morning (smh) but Uju assured me that going casual was fine. Though I had about three options, I was already dressed in this before my neighbor finally decided to pick her calls and come around to help me make a decision. I’m wearing a vintage shirt I got from @_vintagemuse (they sponsored my Christmas giveaway here ), black jeans and suspenders (styled previously in this post)
It looked pretty good in the mirror but somehow looking at these pictures, I don’t like it so much but hey! some outfits, just like people, sometimes look better in person. Consolation prize. Lol! What do you think of this look? Hope you’re having a lovely weekend?
Delivering my first batch of blog planner orders this weekend and it feels so goood! If you would like to get yours, order asap! Blog Planner Giveaway Winner is Tamunotonye Levy Braide.
Now I wouldn't say I'm in an introvert. I love talking and anything that has to do with public speaking but I prefer my own space. Nothing wrong with that except I usually miss out on connecting and linking with people because I'd rather hand with close friends and chill than go to big event. My goal now is to try to create a balance in this. Love the outfit, even if you think it did not look that great in pictures. The vintage shirt is just perfect, love your glasses and hair. Here's to stepping out of our comfort zone and trying new things Princess Audu
Lemme just start by saying how gorgeous you look – I am almost tempted to say -How dare you not like this look. Lol. I won't say it tho. Hehe.
Totally agree with Jinna's quote there. Another of my thing (theme) for this year is leaving my comfort zone because why not?! If I am thinking about something especially all the time, I should be living/doing it? Yes?? Kudos to you dear,There is so much more to come but you have to put yourself out there**
Did I already say how beautiful you look?
http://www.dleonalife.blogspot.com
Your outfit is 👌👌…I'm an introvert kinda,I try to be more outspoken sometimes but I just find myself saying really awkard and lame stuff lol and i have kinda made peace with who I am�🙇🙇🙇🙇vv 🙇🙇……………….
Hey!
I like the outfit! If it looked better in person,it must have been really great.
Deets on the glasses please
http://www.tonyeigbani.com
you look nice, and I also have a phobia for videos I don't know if I'm comfortable conquering that
Hi Cassie,
Kudos on the STV shoot!
1. All I see is your gorgeous hair.
2. You look like Ewemade of Shakara Couture in the first photo.
3. Your sense of style is impeccable. I like every single thing about your lovely outfit.
4. Biko, don't be sad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, I sincerely think you have a sweet personality and are very well behaved.
5. There is a beauty of depth in Introversion, and because there's an air of mystery around you, it makes people curious about you and they become drawn to you. Not everyone has to be the "life of the party", some have to be the "calm of the party", for it to all make sense.
6. Ah! Public speaking used to terrify me a lot, it's lessened now. I realised that I was more afraid of the people listening to me than I was of the actual speaking. It's the fear of judgement that causes it.
7. One of my biggest fears is social awkwardness, especially if I don't feel any chemistry with the crowd in the room. I've learned that we can't all be best friends from day one. Lol
8. This super advice from Betty Irabor resonates- "The secret of success is to do it afraid"
Have a great week!
Hey Nedu! Thank you so much! You might not know this but you had a huge role in me making peace with it. Remember when I apologized for not being extra talky at tbc connect and you told me not to beat myself up for it? I still remember it everytime so thank you!!!
No 6 comment just gave me an idea I shall pitch to you soon! Hehe.
While reading the post, I got to the part where you asked the questions. I was already answering in my head and scrolling down to comment and then i saw my name and screamed. lol Thank you so much!! hugs 🙂 .
I'll say I'm a mix of both, sometimes i want to be out there and other times I just want to hide in my shell. I'm always scared of doing some things, but when i start i just get really comfortable.
As to what I'm scared of….. my role in my department. at times it just feels like I cant do it and i get really scared. but then a student comes to me with an issue and i solve it. the joy and smiles on their faces just reminds me that I'm doing good and also a strong girl.
http://www.theblackwriter.com
http://www.vsco.co/theblackwriter
Gurllllll, that shirt is fineee and the shoes too.. About doing things that scare me, Public speaking is one thing I would like to master.. #shygirlproblems..
The jeans now looks tighter on you; like you're adding o…d outfit is really nice….am an introvert too;going out is a very difficult task…but I think I'll try n change this year mbok
C'mon Cassie the pictures look fab. Cheers to you conquering the inevitable. Well I've got my own share of "shellclosings" for one its pictures which is weird seeing my ig acc. I don't like pictures.. Usually forced. I always have to beg my friends not to bring their camera around when we hang out but well…
I love what you wore. You look comfortable. Practice makes perfect. I tend to shy away from things that would bring attention to me. I guess I'll practice more starting with answering questions in class…Lol!
Practice definitely does make perfect.
Lool on answering questions in class! But really it starts from there oh – starting to talk at ease in front of your classmates.
Thanks!
You look damn HOT! in that jeans and heels
Hayyy stopeeet :$ :$ :$ thank you!
Congratulations on being asked to speak at Social Media Week, no be Small Thing!
I actually really like the outfit especially the Suspenders.
Yay to more speaking engagements and coming out of your shell activities.
http://www.tukesquest.com
Thank you!! Though its a bit complicated as its not really my field but I'll see how it goes. Lol
Amen oh! Thank you
Firstly, love the outfit.
Secondly, I am an introvert too! Mine is really bad because I hardly know what to say to people and it makes me scared like… What if I say something weird? Like the other day I met Akin Faminu and *facepalm* let's not even go there.
I feel like its limiting me and thats one of the reasons my networking is very poor.
I'm trying though. Made that decision Dec 2015 and so far so good (apart from when I weird people out, ha Ha).
http://www.miralabelle.com
Hey babe, thank you!
Lool. I think you should practice what you want to say in your head before walking up to the person so you don't end up weirding out on them. I have a post on how to network better at events – I'm not sure if you read that? Could help you too http://www.cassiedaves.com/2015/07/a-guide-to-networking-better-at-events.html?m=1
Hi Cassie, this post just described me to the letter. Lol. But I think I'm worse. You managed to go for the STV show shoot, me I would fake my own death first! . I will try to change since people have changed my name from 'Victoria' to 'weirdo' ������. P.s. I love, love, love everything you wore, especially the shirt. Keep up the good work girl!
Love the jeans with the suspenders! It's a great look. x
/ O.R.R. – Life & Style Journal
Thank you Oroma!
Can we state the fact that you look amazeball.The cateye frame.. picture quality!!! One of the beauty of life is to live and learn. You've done a good job learning to Maneuver your fears.
Is that your natural hair?? it looks so beautiful
Lool natural hair keh. I cut my hair again last year oh. But that's why I made the hair this length – to get people confused. Hehe.
Thanksss!
hi Cassandra,
Congrats on the big things that are happening to you this year!!
I also noticed I have that issue, I love talking, the dream job is to be a media personality, but once I meet people for the first time, I am so awkward around them, it so annoying!! I am just there like Ifeoma, you must do better forgossake.
It is because of that, I decided to take Toastmasters class (you should check it out, its a class for public speaking). At least its a step in making my dreams come true.
That your hair, giveth life, Cassandra. Please share the details with this your family.
Hey Oma, come and carry your gift ohhh.
I'm definitelygoing to check out the master class.
The hair is just regular chocolate weave oh – that I've even used in the past, just that I cut it short this time around
First of real, really liking the jeans and suspenders look with heels. Secondly Big Congrats on getting over your public speaking fears by continuously pushing yourself to go outside your comfort zone. How fab you appeared on STV, I hosted and produced a tv show for them last year and up till then, I too was a bit nervous on putting myself so out there…am I an introvert or extrovert. I guess most people who know me well would say I am an extrovert, but I do have a few introvert characteristics…have a good week!xo
lovely outfit, it feels good to overcome those issues. great job on that.
http://www.bellamote.blogspot.com
Thankssss!
I consider myself an introvert, but being a Business student while in school, I had many public speaking and presentations to make. I also got practice with the organizations I was involved in. I wouldn't say I like public speaking, but I'm not so fearful of it before. In the past, I would literally make up an excuse or NOT show up for class just to avoid public speaking.. I think I'm pass that stage now.
Love your hair, lipstick, the look, everything <3
I'm a super introvert myself, and yes, there's a lot of things I think I'd be doing better, or doing more of if I was an extrovert, but I'm learning, like you, to not use that as an excuse.
Told you that day and will say it again, you looked great!! loved the hair and you did great with the speaking too…one step at a time and soon it all will be familiar territory to you..just give it time. Lovely post *wink*
ursulasebastine.com
Somehow, you make things seem so easy to wear, so effortless.
TBH, it doesn't take an awful lot to get me talking so I'm probably more of an extrovert than an introvert. It's great cos I have a radio show where I basically ramble on for almost 2 hours. Sadly, this year has been slow so far. Exams are a female dog -___-
I used to be terrified of public speaking sha but what I found was that the more I put myself out there, the easier it became. Also, having a very healthy self-esteem helps too. Like keep reminding yourself how great you are and how much you have to offer, that sort of gingers you. Lastly, doing a bit of research on the people or event helps, it gives you more to talk about with them and personally, I found that it makes the whole talking thing less daunting especially since you have ammo for those long, uncomfortable lull in the convo
Let me stop there before I launch into a speech…lol
tobiadegbemi.com
Somehow, you make things seem so easy to wear, so effortless.
TBH, it doesn't take an awful lot to get me talking so I'm probably more of an extrovert than an introvert. It's great cos I have a radio show where I basically ramble on for almost 2 hours. Sadly, this year has been slow so far. Exams are a female dog -___-
I used to be terrified of public speaking sha but what I found was that the more I put myself out there, the easier it became. Also, having a very healthy self-esteem helps too. Like keep reminding yourself how great you are and how much you have to offer, that sort of gingers you. Lastly, doing a bit of research on the people or event helps, it gives you more to talk about with them and personally, I found that it makes the whole talking thing less daunting especially since you have ammo for those long, uncomfortable lull in the convo
Let me stop there before I launch into a speech…lol
tobiadegbemi.com
Hi Cassie! You look stylish and comfortable all at once. Congratulations on all the progress you are making. I too like you, am an introvert. Reading this has inspired me to come out of my shell more. Thank you .
I love the outfit, it's so me!! + Congrats on all these opportunities. Lol you actually look like you'll be good on camera. I'm a bit if the two, depends on who and what I'm doing. But I love making videos, I used to have a YouTube channel in 2012 making dance videos and rants but ayee no time now.
http://www.toyinwithfashion.com
honestly i draw a lot of lessons from your posts. Mine is a mix of being an introvert and an extrovert at the same time. i am outspoken when i am around people i am very comfortable with but when it comes to public speaking, meeting new people i technically withdraw into my shell and the shyness takes over. i love making videos tho,thats if i am all by myself without the eyes of the world on me, but i have promised to get over it this year because it holds me back and i need to do some breaking out of my comfort zone.
thank you for this Cassie
Hey Cass,
First off, I love how the presenter has my name. It's such a fascinating coincidence.
Second, you don't have to be a big talker to get your point across. The people i respect the most barely say a word. So when they speak, you listen. And besides, you've achieved quite a lot without being a big talker. Go you!
Third, i love your outfit. It's eye catching in an understated way.
You look beautiful Cassie. Love your outfit. I never get jeans that long n we are the same height. Love love love your shoes, you ddnt say where they r from tho.
Thank you Sophia! Jeans and shoes are from the market
nice
Hello, I just followed your blog today and I am really learning a lot. This post is very inspiring to me. Thank you very much.
Aww thank you so much too! I appreciate this comment
This is exactly what I do. When its time to do something out of my comfort zone, I just crawl back to my shell and I regret it every time. Thank you for this post.
Same here but I’m learning not to beat myself up about it either