HOW I’M FIGHTING THE FUNK.
Last year found me been feeling the most self aware I’ve ever felt and super confident that there was nothing new anyone could tell me about myself because i already knew it all – both my strengths and flaws but some recent events proved me wrong.
It was like a wake up call that there is still much work to be done on myself.
You see, there’s this thing I do where I constantly doubt my abilities and end up feeling like a fraud because I don’t believe anyone ever suspects how unsure of myself and my work I can get sometimes.
Can I actually do this? Is my blog really good or am I just boring people? Should I just quit already?
I would do a shoot and spend the remaining days praying that the pictures don’t come out bad because I’ve somehow convinced myself that I’m not a slick enough model.
You know what all this was doing for me? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
Instead it was sapping me of my energy and slowly threatening to rob me of my creativity and will power too.
The most terrible obstacles are indeed the ones we place on ourselves!
So I decided to do better and here are a few tips/ ways I’ve been fighting it off.
1. Realize where in your life you are your own poison :
Basically, be sincere with yourself!
Also one of the lessons I’m constantly re-learning is that you can’t ignore what you feel for too long. Its way easier to recognize that you feel this emotion, whether self doubt, love, hate, jealousy, hurt.. First accept that you have it, make peace with the chaos inside your chest and then work towards changing it
2. Positive Affirmations :
Like Sonaya Ramon said, you don’t have to pay attention to those voices that create pain levels make you feel less smart, competent or able.
I like to repeat positive words to myself every time I start to feel some type of way.
3. Focus on the positives instead:
Instead of focusing on that one shoot that went wrong, I’m focusing on the ones that went so right, I had to be called back a second time.
B Because its way easier to keep focusing on the negatives and letting that blur your vision. Only work with the negatives to create a better picture like my babe Drake said.
4. Stop Comparing :
Guys, I ain’t gonna lie because we all know this is a free space.
Some of my self doubt problems especially the ones that has to do with being a good blogger stems from reading other blogs and comparing.
Whenever I catch myself starting to do that, I immediately admonish myself and correct my attitude.
No, Cassandra! We are not going down that path today, No uh!!
You don’t have to do what everyone is doing, just do your own thing, do it well and consistently.
5. Improve on your skills/self.
If there’s a particular reason why you feel like you aren’t adequate. Then instead of sitting around beating yourself up or feeling sorry for yourself, you can actively do something about it by improving in that area instead.
Feeling inadequate because you think other people can take better images than you? Take a photography course, watch you tube videos etc.
6. Give yourself a break!
I will breathe like its the only occupation I have and stop being so hard on myself!
Do you sometimes have fierce spells of self doubt? And how do you get through it? Please share!
P.S – I share more awesome quotes like these ones on my Instagram : @cassiedaves
And let’s connect!
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This is a really good post, we all go through this…I always tell myself no one is perfect and everyone has problems and my life might be way better than theirs and I feel btr when i start comparing…thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you for sharing this post love. I wrote earlier this week on imperfections and not feeling beautiful enough. But thank God, I am learning to renew my mind and my thoughts. I agree, we need to reinforce the positivity and carry it in our heads but more importantly, in our hearts. Have a lovely weekend.
Es x x
imparfait-treasure.blogspot.co.uk
nice
Wishing you the a wonderful Saint Valentine's day Cassandra. XXXO
I think we all have self doubt once in a while. The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. Never ever ever ever ever ever do that!! You are good enough just strive to do YOUR very best.
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I really appreciate this post. I always have this moment where situations, things, and people make me feel like I'm not good enough. And sadly I always feel that way too.. But I always tell myself..'Its okay not to be okay'… So in such moments, I take a deep breath, exhale, and move forward.
Thanks for this post..
http://thekenekingsley.blogspot.com
Most times i call a close friend and just talk or tell the person how i'm feeling, it helps to have good people in your life.
i know how you feel. I always have self doubt, never been a confident person and it hurts my abilities because i focus on reasons why i cant do it and forget reasons why i CAN do it. Thanks for this inspirational post
http://www.thatnigeriangirl.net
Great Post! It's Imperative we remind ourselves of just how Precious God Created us to be!
Having modeled I feel you! After college nobody took me seriously in my career field (commercial art consultant) I gained weight & layered clothes to look larger to overcome the stereotype of being a dumb model trying to get by on looks!
Every girl & most guys have confidence issues no matter our situation!
Do you realize what makes your blog so Special??? …It's packed with the Right combination of Fun & most Importantly … Substance! *Intelligent Girl*
*****HAPPY VALENTINES DAY*****
Thanks Cassie! Take Care & Have a Beautiful Weekend! 🙂
I needed this Cassie, I can totally relate. Thank's a lot for sharing.
http://juanamaua.blogspot.com
And in this period I've had more than enough self doubts…. but I've decided to breathe and let it go one doubt at a time. Also staying off people that create these doubts. Breathing helps.
http://www.officialfantasy.wordpress.com
Cassie, I know this feeling too well. But I think understanding that you know the devil that plagues you is the first step to healing. What helps me is "You are Good enough, Just perfect the way you are" I repeat it to myself, until I start to believe it. Love Suzanne. You are awesome never forget that.
Cass, I know this feeling too well. But I think understanding that you know the devil that plagues you is the first step to healing. What helps me is "You are Good enough, Just perfect the way you are" I repeat it to myself, until I start to believe it. You are awesome never forget that.
We all go through this sometimes and doubt ourselves. Comparing yourself to others and looking at the negatives instead of developing them into positives definitely feeds into this. But this is a super helpful and inspiring post. – culturedmisprint.blogspot.com
Of course, You're a slick model! You're god enough jare and your blog one of the really good ones … and I read a lot of them
Wow! This is a wonderful post! I just wrote about something similar… Seems like we are in sync. I also had low self confidence and even as a blogger I always had some insecurities and almost every picture was not good enough or not showing my 'good side'. But now I accept my strengths and flaws because that's what makes me me.😀
Again, great post!
I love 1 and 2, its so easy to get caught up, but takes constant practice to practice what you have listed. I just take myself back to God's word honestly, that does it for me in the moment . And we sometimes forget to appreciate all the work we put into ourselves as bloggers, that helps me refocus too. I love how real this post is
The Cocopolitan
X
i have realised that self doubt are always around the corner everytime one slips they are there..positive affirmations always do it for me.x
http://www.deemako.com
I doubt myself all the time…the people around me have way more faith in what I can do and become than myself
The 1st thing I do is Pray,then I try not to focus on th negative and I tell myself am good enough and I can do anything I want to
I sometimes feel better or sometimes I dnt but the most important thing is I dnt give up no matter hw much I doubt myself I just try to push,the struggle to feel good about one's self is real
But hey Cassie we love you and am sure am not the only one that knows your blog is awesome..you dnt knw hw many people want to be you trust me
When I saw this post the other day, I wanted to tell you I've been feeling that way myself!
But you were already getting down from the car. And this post motivated me to complete mine and share on the blog!
Your tips are very helpful and real!
Yess!! to words of affirmation and not comparing ourselves to others!
Xx
I needed this. Thank you.
"…I will breathe like its the only occupation I have"
Old post, but still valid! Guess you're feeling on a low. No need for self doubt. You're amazing! See the positives./ See how far you've come. See how much you inspire others!
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You're amazing. You need to stop and ask who is speaking doubt to you. That voice is not your heavenly father, but the enemy. Tell him he can't sit at your table that God has prepared for you! Psalm 23
Aaaw bless u Cassie! This too shall pass. I've been thru this funk and i am constantly working on building my confidence and pushing away the doubt. The funniest and ironical thing, is people will not spot these struggles. u may even have people thinking you are the most confident person in the room. But self-doubt has a positive, in that it keeps you grounded. Nothing worse than an overly cocky person.
You are doing great girl
The journey to becoming self-assured
Great post Cassie.
I suffer from the “not good enough” syndrome…. and after reading this will push myself to do my thing and ignore the self doubts that always eats me up after.
Thank you.
Great post Cassie .
By the way; you are one of the best bloggers I know…so… you are more than good enough.
I suffer from the SELF DOUBT disease and will definitely try all your medications..😊
The #imposter_syndrome they call it… Love your blog by way😁
Self doubt is something I’ll like to address on my next blog. such a big poison to us. Thanks for sharing Cassie. God bless!
This is such a profound article.
Frankly, I think what can help with anxiety and self doubt is to become more aware of your overly critical inner voice and start, regularly, to contest it. You have to silence that voice that tells you “you’re not good enough”, if not it will keep getting louder, and eventually drown you in its deafening echoes.
Remember that you were not born with the habit of putting yourself down. Instead, it got programmed into you , and now it is left for you to take responsibility, and re – program these life – restricting messages.
I read an article on this recently, and here is what the writer had to say:
“It’s only you who has the power to give yourself ( over and over till it finally locks in), the more accurate message of your basic competence. You need to continually remind yourself that you have sufficient intelligence to succeed at pretty much anything you diligently apply yourself to. And such self-empowerment doesn’t come from anything mystical outside yourself. It derives from what, realistically, repeatedly, and patiently, you tell yourself—until, through demonstrating an ever-strengthening ability to face the challenges you’ve been avoiding, your self-image begins to shift in ways that at last confirm your inherent capability.”
I can share more articles like this, if you’ll like. It’s important to keep unlearning and relearning as we go through this thing called life.
Xx…
This is such a profound article.
Frankly I think what can help with anxiety and self doubt is to become more aware of your overly critical inner voice and start, regularly, to contest it. You have to silence that voice that tells you “you’re not good enough”, if not it will keep getting louder, and eventually drown you in its deafening echoes.
Remember that you were not born with the habit of putting yourself down. Instead, it got programmed into you , and now it is left for you to take responsibility, and re – program these life – restricting messages.
I read an article on this recently, and this is what the writer had to say:
“It’s only you who has the power to give yourself ( over and over till it finally locks in), the more accurate message of your basic competence. You need to continually remind yourself that you have sufficient intelligence to succeed at pretty much anything you diligently apply yourself to. And such self-empowerment doesn’t come from anything mystical outside yourself. It derives from what, realistically, repeatedly, and patiently, you tell yourself—until, through demonstrating an ever-strengthening ability to face the challenges you’ve been avoiding, your self-image begins to shift in ways that at last confirm your inherent capability.”
I can share more articles like this, if you’ll like. It’s important to keep unlearning and relearning as we go through this thing called life.
Xx
These are the most honest thing I’ve read in a long while, I never feel I’m good enough, I never feel like people support me, I doubt myself and I meet some cool people telling me I’m doing so amazing and I still don’t believe them, wow thank you so much for sharing Cassie, I need to work on myself and stop comparing ANS thinking I have to be someone else to feel better!
Thank you for the post. It’s so relatable
Hmmm. Uplifting words and advice
Wow. I diin read number 3 very well. I just did again. I picked this salient point “only work with the negative to create a better picture.. ” nice one cassie
Yes, we all go through these. I am guilty too. Thank you Cassie for this post. I really needed it. Please what plug-in do you use for your social sharing? Thanks
This is exactly what I do to myself every time something new happens and I doubt and even criticize myself. Thank you for this post.