You’re probably wondering what’s so special about that tote bag that I have it plastered all over this post right? We’re getting to that.
That bag was my official “school bag” for the better part of last week, I got it at the African film festival i attended sometime late last month. I have a thing for tote bags and I thought/still think that this one was nice and artsy so I just had to have it.
The other day, a classmate made a comment about me carrying this ‘sack bag’ to school, about how it isn’t “classy” and I can be a bit more “classy” than this. I’m sure he might have been joking but you know what they
say about how its what’s probably already in the mind that you push out right? Yeah, that.
It got me thinking really, but not before sending a smart mouthed reply his way.
Where did everyone come about this idea that as females we have to maintain a certain standard of “allure”?
What if I don’t want to be ‘classy’, whatever that might mean?
What if I’ll rather wear a cross body bag to a birkin bag?
Or man-repelling to accentuating oufits?
What if I like my hair in a quiff and not as long wavy curls?
What if I’ll rather my lips be three shades darker instead of marilyn monroe red?
I can go on and on…
“You
don’t have to be pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to
your partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on
the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your
children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not
a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female- Diana Vreeland”
Don’t get me wrong.
Be pretty, if you want to.
If you’re about that pink and frilly life
By all means , be that and more!
But don’t tell me, I’m not classy for dressing how I want to as long as I’m not being indecent or smelly and unclean and I still understand what is appropriate for different occasions
Thank you!
On that note, I’ll end this by saying.
Be you,
Be you,
Be “unapologetically” you.
P.S – I wrote a post on something a tad bit similar, if you’ll like to read it Here
P.P.S – I was featured by the awesome Fola of Folasoasis, check it out.
Cassandra Ikegbune
Xoxo
Amen! I remember the 1st time I wore my natural hair to work, some people were coming at me with "oh, you didn't make your hair", "go & relax it" bla bla & I had to subtly but firmly remind them that we should not be carried away by foreign ideals of "if it's not long & flowing, it's not pretty"
Ah Yes! The hair one too! I cut my hair a while back and whenever i fix, people start going on about how i look like a girl now bla bla
I honestly believe the society and media puts an image of what ladies and people should look like with special emphasis on ladies. it is believed that a lady must be classy, beautiful and a lil sexy, if you do not have these features you have a problem. as a plus size lady abi Orobo , its not easy trust me.
http://www.damiesdiary.blogspot.com
You knooww! And it can be a bit annoying at times
I can totally imagine
You really came all out with this and I like, I like!
Some guys will be like "go and make your hair/these skirts doesn't suit you, change it.."
Well, change it for who? For me or yourself? How does your choice about me factor into my own choice?
I guess people think it's mostly a joke but it tells a deeper story beneath it all.
There's too much pressure on women to conform to a certain personality/fashion sense.
Let's be us!
Thank you frances!!
love this post!! I think it about choice. We are all free to make whatever decision if it makes us happy…whether its for a moment, or a lifetime.
We don't owe being pretty to anyone. Do it for yourself.
Es x x
imparfait-treasure.blogspot.co.uk
imparf
Your skirt has a vintage-y quality, love it.
Saw an article on TNC "You know you are growing up when.."
I guess you know you are growing up when you decide to Be "unapologetically" you.
Nice post, as always.
I got it at a vintage thrift store if that counts for anything. lol
On the side,I really should start reading TNC again though
Thank you for reading
Well said. Peopl won't mind their own business, all they want is for you to conform and fit into their perfect definition of a lady. Classy or Sassy, I don't really care.
http://www.realcilverly.blogspot.com
At first glance I thought the bag was pretty because it's not like the usual tote bags in terms of design (or maybe I'm confusing it with something)
Looks good to me though,your classmate doesn't know what she's on about.
Lhurve Davies
Be 'unapologetically' you!
All I'm saying
I'm sooo with you. It's the reason I emphasize 'comfort is key'. Wear what you're comfortable in, not what people expect you to wear. If you like loud, do loud. If you like subtle, then do just that.
It's also applies to personality, I feel sorry for people who feel the need to act a certain way just so other people can like them. Be yourself, do things your own way and how you like them done. Conformity is unnecessary.
Kachi my niggaa! Bless us with your wise wordssssss
really nice write-up and I love that bag as well…
http://www.jayjay-2011.blogspot.com
This post is beautiful. I like that bag and your confidence 🙂
I love love this post, I can totally relate to it, pple just thinking you should behave or dress a certain way…just do u
its the bangle i cant take my eyes off xxx
Well said girl!!
Plus,I like that tote.School appropriate!
xoxo
I agree, to a certain extent.
I think the plight to aesthetic appeal has clouded what's truly important. Not to say that appearance, demeanour and conduct should, as a result, take a back seat. It's important, but of equal importance. Just as a man should also care about his all, looks included. The double standard for females is ever so evident, but now I feel like we need to pick our battles and this is just a fight not worth pursuing
BLEURGH – http://www.bleurghnow.com
I LIKE THIS! Be you at the end of the day!
so true! sometimes I feel like I always have be on point all the time but truthfully we don't owe anyone anything when it comes to how we want to carry ourselves.
you have a new stalker
http://www.modefort.blogspot.com
Nice write up! Love the outfit combination. Be you always 🙂
xoxo
Stella
My usual response to people like this is "am i wearing/carrying it for you?" Please if it offends your line of sight, kindly look away. I really don't like that some people are who they are today because they feel that's what is acceptable by society. I'm all for breaking out of the norm…you couldn't have said it better Cassie! Be unapologetically you! You owe nobody any excuse.
Sometimes i go without earrings, and I'm so sharp to respond when any1 tells me, "put on your earrings" or "did you forget them at home"…. I'm like: NO, i dont wanna wear them, just because! I'm good wtout them, whether i look good in your eyes or not!
Pretty awesome post by a pretty kind, pretty friendly, pretty intelligent pretty woman. 🙂 Stay you!
But what if you are pretty anyway? There are so many diamonds in the ruff. Should they never be refined?
The truth in this post can’t be measured by anything. The first time I cut my hair to grow it out natural, I remember this guy saying to me, I don’t like women with short hair and I replied back, I don’t like men who can’t build ships. Thank you for sharing this post, so beautiful and true.