Candid Talk || Bassey Ikpi.

Hey Guys!

Done? Alright, Let’s meet Bassey!

Hi Bassey, please can you define yourself and what you do?

When will you say was the defining

moment you realized you want to be

doing what you’re doing now?

I’m a lot shyer and anxious than people realize, so getting on stage took a lot of mental energy.

I started doing spoken word when I was 18. I had always written but I didn’t know that standing on stage and doing it in front of people was a thing.

The first time I saw that, it changed everything. It gave me voice and showed me the power I had with that voice. It wasn’t the first time though, I was a cast member of Teen Summit on BET during High School and that empowered me through validation of my opinions and point of view.

It also taught me how to be on camera and in front of an audience which helped later in my career. I’m a very nervous person and I have really bad nerves whenever I perform. I learned ways around those nerves.

I’m not sure anyone who works hard to get to certain places in their lives and careers actually believe there’s a “top”.
I know that I’m never completely happy with where I am in life. It’s not about not being grateful, I am certainly extremely grateful but I have been so lucky and fortunate in my career but I’m never satisfied.
I know that if I push a bit more there’s something else: a new field to explore or a higher shelf to climb. I like to say that I never claim perfection; I claim evolving. And I mean that personally and professionally.
It’s about always being better than the last time and then better than that and so on and so forth. I’m a work in progress and process.
           

Besides medication and instructions from my doctor: Morning. I’ve been through a lot due to my mental health condition and the one thing I’ve always been able to count on, to hope for,to wait for, to know is always coming: morning.
Sometimes, it meant staying up all night and watching morning from the wrong side but the fact that i knew it would be here told me that I had at least one more day and often that was enough to push me through.

That’s for when things are really bad.
When I’m struggling on a day to day basis, I think about what I have accomplished. It’s easy to talk yourself down and think that you haven’t done much. It’s that “What have you done for me lately?” Janet Jackson thing.

And you know that there’s always time but you need some reminders of what you have done. I like to affirm myself. It comes off vain and arrogant but if you can’t be your biggest fan then who can?

I’m very hard on myself. Very critical.
So when I can look in the mirror and say, “i’m dope as sh*t” it reminds me that before I felt like I couldn’t, I did. And I did it well.

Also love. It’s the fuel. I know that I am surrounded by great and persistent love. I’ve recently gone through a very difficult situation and it was the love and commitment of my family and my friends that pulled me out. Their love pulled me out. My love for them keeps me out.

Hype yourself to Yourself, love the shit out of yourself and be fiercly proud of your accomplishments.Click to tweet!

This contradicts what I said earlier but I struggle with self doubt a lot. I feel like a fraud sometimes. Like I lucked into this life and career and one day, everyone will know it. So when I’m unable to create or get work done because I’m too scattered, it weighs heavily on me.

I also live with bipolar 2 disorder, so there are some issues there when it comes to seeing myself and what I do and who I am accurately. Which is why I said I’m constantly reminding myself and telling myself that who I am is different than who my brain wants me to believe I am. 

Every day is a challenge. Especially living with a disorder that basically lies to you every day. I’m constantly reminding myself that the negative self talk and paralyzing self doubt are illusions. I make sure medically that I’m taking care of myself but I also make sure that I’m also aware of my emotional state and take some time for self care. If I can’t write right now, then I can’t write. Simple as that. Putting pressure on myself will only make me more frustrated, which will only make it even more difficult… who needs that?
Everything can wait. Nobody ever died or killed anyone because someone missed a deadline. But people have almost killed themselves trying to make a deadline. On a personal level, I’ve learned to curate the people in my life very carefully. 

I’m an empath and have a sponge heart so I take things in very quickly. Being a public figure, people tend to want to touch and feel and soak you up a bit and that’s exhausting. I try to make sure I have a strong hold on who I am publicly so that behind closed doors, I have something left for the people who recharge me. The people in my life are golden. As I said earlier, “love is fuel.” It keeps me going.

I think having my breakdown while on tour with Def Poetry Jam. It changed everything. It changed my approach to life. I was really running on empty and pushing myself so hard because I had this idea of  success. I nearly died chasing this thing. I had to slow down and reassess my goals and my actions. It also made me more conscious of how my mental health affected my physical health. That experience also encouraged me to speak openly about mental health and to help people come to terms with things that they may have been ashamed about.

From that point on, my work and presence had a greater purpose. It’s been difficult but it’s been worth it. I can’t imagine being silent about these things anymore.
                 

– Never apologize for how you choose to take care of yourself.  It isn’t selfish. It isn’t arrogant.

– Don’t feel that showing love or being in love means that you put someone else over yourself. Especially, if they expect it from you and don’t appreciate it. 

– Know who deserves you and who deserves to never say that they had you.

– Take your time. You’re not the same person at 22 that you are at 32 or you shouldn’t be. If you are, then there’s a problem.

– Live life. This Nigerian nonsense of “go and marry”at all cost is destructive. Nothing against marriage at all but I believe that people should grow together and benefit each other in love and dedication not for small chops and aso-ebi. You have time. Take it.

Never apologize for how you choose to take care of yourself.  It isn’t selfish. It isn’t arrogant. Click to tweet!

I don’t know if it’s the best but it’s the most recent that has been helping me : Trust the world with your writing.

I’ve never been in a physical fight before. That’s neither fun nor random. Um… I can wiggle my right ear. Is that fun?  I don’t know. I think I love to laugh and make people laugh. I don’t consider myself a comedian but I’m definitely not as serious as my writing implies. I’m not a serious person at all!

Thank you so much for granting me audience Bassey and for agreeing to this feature. I appreciate you!

I could particularly relate with feeling like a fraud sometimes and doubting yourself. Like her, I’m also learning to silence the voice of self doubt too whenever it creeps in.

I hope you enjoyed reading her replies as I did? Did you have any takeaways? Please share! Also if there’s anyone you’ll like me to feature/questions you’ll like me to include. Let me know please.

As always, let’s connect!