Candid Talk With Wana Udobang.

Hey Guys!

Today, I’m so excited to bring you the first feature in my new blog series ‘Candid talk with’.

This is something I’ve been sitting on for a while now, waiting for perfect conditions to be able to deliver it in the exact way I had it planned in my head : a video chat series but because broke unemployed med school graduate (Read about my graduation/swearing the physician’s oath here and my subsequent job hunt here), I decided to just start anyways.

I like to describe this blog as not just a “fashion/lifestyle blog”, because its a bit more than that. One of the aims of my space is to inspire people (however cliche that might sound), to let them know that they aren’t alone in their struggles hence the transparency in my life/musings posts and the choice of poetry I share here.

With this blog series, I plan to get influencers and people I find inspiring, to share some of their wisdom and stories, as it relates to life, love, and everything in between.

I met Wana Udobang (Wana Wana as she’s popularly called) for the first time at the redefining beauty event which she put together with Glory Edozien, although I had already followed her on twitter prior and also read through her blog which I pleasantly found that I could relate with some of her write ups and poems.
I was really excited when she not only agreed to be featured on my blog but also replied and treated my emails in a timely manner. Thank you Wana for making me feel important small.
Wana Udobang is one prominent name in the arts/culture/entertainment scene. She is a radio presenter at inspiration FM, hosts the Airtel touching lives and is an ambassador for social causes (read her piece on the Mirabel rape crises centre for Aljazeera here)

Let’s meet Wana!

Hi Wana, please can you define yourself and what you do :

I am a broadcaster, writer, poet, performer, documentary maker, filmmaker and curator. Fundamentally I am a storyteller and a creative busy body of sorts. I seek to educate, entertain, inform, inspire, change and transform. I am ambidextrous. I hate boxes and limitations. I am little over sensitive, very emotional yet easily detached and quite moody.

I just remember my friend Tarella coming from her father’s funeral with all her hair shaved off as a child. She told me they had used a razor blade and then doused her head in alcohol and it didn’t seem normal to me. Then in a matter of weeks there was talk on our estate that relatives had come to take their cars and other things, not too long after the family had moved out. My own parents were also embroiled in quite a physically violent marriage before getting divorced. There was a certain shame and embarrassment as well as helplessness we experienced. I think from those moments I knew I wanted to talk about things nobody wanted to discuss. So those experiences were the very beginnings of everything for me. I felt that with journalism I could talk about things that we wouldn’t naturally talk about as a community but I think it has evolved into other mediums and fundamentally telling peoples stories.

I don’t know that I am at the top, I think I am still trying to figure it out. All I know for now though is to stay consistent on your journey and open your mind because sometimes we get too stuck in an ideal of where we want to be and how we want to get there but sometimes I feel like the universe has many interesting plans so its important to be focused but an open mind is vital so you don’t miss the awesome moments. Sometimes those weird detours are leading you to where you are truly supposed to be.

I have a strong sense of purpose to why it is I am here and what my contribution is to the planet.  That has always kept me grounded and focused. So when I feel that way, I retreat and meditate. Spending time with yourself and getting re-acquainted with your inner self is so important. In that moment of isolation, I have to ask myself those questions again, why am I here? Why am I doing what I am doing?  Why am I really feeling the way I do? I must be able to answer those and retrace my steps and do whatever is necessary to attain that sense of balance. Also surrounding myself with things that move and inspire me.

I have so many interesting struggles like everyone else. Self doubt is a huge one. I am constantly plagued with feelings of not being good enough, experienced enough or learned enough. So with regards to that, I always set myself challenges and exercises and the more I scale through them, the more I affirm myself. I also rid myself of any kind of pressure by staying in a place of introspection. I realized my state of mind is crucial to how I see myself and assess my self worth.
Another weird struggle is the fear of being financially dependent on someone else. I grew up with everything and then it all fell apart when my parents marriage ended. So there is a chronic fear of having to need things from people so I have always built a self sustainable fortress in terms of a minimalist lifestyle, minimal debt, being entrepreneurial and living below my means so that I am always financially in the surplus. As much as I sound like I have it all figured out, the challenge is that it takes me longer to take certain risks that I should be taking and risks that should propel me further for fear of financial insecurity. But I have been reprogramming my brain for a while so it is getting better. So for every financial risk I take I try to have a little back up that way I don’t freak out too much.

Nigerians are special people and I love them for it. But for a very long time I always had people tell me I was too serious and I needed to do all sorts of things to be ‘Successful”. I needed to hang with certain kinds of people, be seen at certain places and do things a certain way. Everyone though well meaning seems to have a better sense or idea of who you should be other than yourself.  I have always had a strong sense of self, so stuck to my own sense of authenticity. When I look at where I am now even though I am a far cry from where I hope to be, I think just staying consistent with my own vision of myself has been the most vital lesson in my journey. Then remembering that I am on my own journey and not anyone else’s. Everyone goes home to his or her individual beds at night and I have to live with myself. So I have to be okay with that person when she is alone and no one else is looking. I choose to be inspired by people and their journeys but I don’t aspire to be like anyone.

– Enjoy the moment.
– Know what you are worth so you aren’t treated as anything less.
– The most important things you learn from relationships are about yourself, It’s part of your own evolving process.
– Be with someone whose company you really enjoy.
– You always have a choice in who you want to be with,  so don’t feel pity for yourself or the other person because you have a right to choose .
– Don’t stay in a miserable relationship, you aren’t doing yourself any favours.
– Don’t seek anyone to make you whole because it is just a recipe for disappointment so be find completion within yourself.
– Don’t apologise for who you are.
– Make sure no one makes you feel any less than you are. Be happy.
– Unrequited love is bullshit.

I cry when I watch award show speeches. Not the bragadocious kinds though. Usually the Oscars and the Baftas

Thank you for granting me audience Wana and for sharing some of your wisdom with us.

I really enjoyed reading her replies and there were lots of takeaways for me. I could especially relate to the bit about Nigerians and the notion that you have to act in a certain way/go to all the events/hang out with a certain crowd to be successful.