On Settling

I’ve had this post in my draft for a while now. It was written during a
period I felt all confused and what-not , I haven’t obtained maximum
clarity yet but the air sure does feel a little clearer over here these
days.

You know that
point in your single life where you finally get tired of being the only
one amongst your friends without a “Le boo”? Where you just finally want
someone you can call your own too? Yes! that point! I know how
confusing it can get and how its so easy to give up all your set values
and settle with just anyone you feel you have a little connection with.
Society doesn’t even make it easy these days, its like everyone wants to
know who you are dating and why you are not dating. Meh
I don’t
believe in mediocre relationships at all. I don’t believe in dating for
just dating sake.
But it wasn’t always like this. I also
got to that break point and I settled!
You see, the thing about loneliness is that it
grabs at you in the deepest places, taunts you till you succumb to
whatever to find temporary release.
If you are like me, you start
getting this messed up idea that maybe if you find someone, it will all
get better. So it starts with wrong choices of friends, just to feel
that closeness to someone and then wrong relationship choices.
Nope! That won’t make you  feel better.
I
finally realized that no one can walk in and just fill up that void in
me. It was like an epiphany, an Eureka moment. So I just stopped hoping
on things and people and started saying more “Thank you Lord” because His plans for me are always plans of good, to give me a future and hope.

Never
settle for less than you deserve because it was convenient. Its better
to be lonely now than be in a relationship and still be lonely.  Don’t
waste your best years on a relationship that should have never began. Never
rush into anything, take your time and reflect deeply. The answers are
within you 90percent of the time. You know what you want, its right
there.

No settling allowed! You deserve a loving, caring and healthy relationship!

  Some quotes that helped me rethink when I was stuck in that situation

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” – Warsan Shire

“Until you get comfortable with
being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or
loneliness” – Mandy Hale

P.S – I know you’ve heard this a
million times but we really should learn to be patient with God and wait
for his opinion on whatever we want to do even if it takes a while for
Him to give a go
ahead!

P.P.S – Amazing men still exist. I know, God gave me one. 😀

Cassandra Ikegbune
xoxo