The whole of this year has been full of so much lessons, especially these past few months. I keep learning and re- learning a lot of things everyday so I decided to share three lessons I learnt this week.
– Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not great based on THEIR definition of success. You define what makes you happy & successful – Yagazie Emezi
I talked about someone pissing me off during the last day of the LFDW in this post. I’ll spare you guys the whole story but in a nut shell, the person tried to make me feel bad by comparing me with some of my friends, talking about how they are doing great things and how I need to step up.
I got pissed because firstly, I think its totally negative to be looking at my friends that way and instead of celebrating their growth and success, to make it seem like a sort of competition. No uh! We’re all running different races.
Also he kind of belittled my work , making it seem like I’m not great because I wasn’t sitting front row at fashion week or walking the show.
Who said that’s my own definition of being “great” huh?
I’m awfully proud of where I am at the moment, I may not be as popular and what-not but I’m happy that in my own little way I’ve been able to inspire people.
–Its not what you are called that matters, its what you answer to. Know who you are – Ijeoma Okeagu
Medical school requires a really strong heart because your consultants and Regs will always insult you and basically call you dumb.
With me, it goes even a step forward and especially of late. I mean tell me I don’t know shit but leave my looks out of it okay?
One told me in plain terms how I’ll be mediocre because I’m fine, fair and tall and another started going on about how its not by being fine or chic bla bla.
Did someone say stereotype? It really hurt me and made me cry but I’m learning that its not what they say I am but who I know I am and of course who God says I am.
I might not be the most hardworking and efficient medical student but I’m definitely studious.
– Sometimes “friends” come into your life for just a particular reason/season and even though it hurts to know that you’re no longer as important or needed around as before, its necessary to learn to let go because life gets incredibly busy for everyone sometimes so I’m learning to just free and not stress.
Cassandra Ikegbune
Xoxo
I'm so sorry that your consultants said those things to you. It's completely unacceptable. And I know it's cliché, but I think people are often unkind to people who take time to care about their appearance because of envy. I'm glad that you are able to remind yourself of who you know you are when that happens. There's nothing like being able to do that for yourself. And that has been my recent lesson actually. I started grad school a couple of months ago and it has been really, REALLY hard on my self esteem. I've always been bad about thinking my work isn't good enough, but going to school in a different country has made that much worse. One thing that I'm having to learn is the importance of telling myself that I am good enough, that my work is good enough, and, my existence and my experience is valid.
That's very true,no matter what happens always remember. Thanks a lot though
I'm learning to believe in myself and what I can do. I can't say I've learnt, still learning.
Yeah winie its like growing,the earlier you believe in yourslef the harder for people to run you down. Thanks for commenting
Be strong and continue doing you.
Thank you
Be strong and continue doing you.
I'm sorry those people said those mean things to you…. it's totally unacceptable and unprofessional but I know you have a thick skin…. Shake it off and never let anyone at all reduce your self esteem…. We love you so much and we know you will go places
Have a beautiful weekend
Thank you Esther,I've simply taken it as a lesson in life. Such situations make you stronger lol,I'm going all motivational now
Ahh, I guess the consultants are same everywhere and I've learnt to not even bother with whatever they have to say as long as I know it doesn't define me. Lol you are not alone! People keep asking me Why I'm in Med school and should just go do fashion already… or they say you know you can't be a doctor and be a designer also right?… but I will always say you can never know until you try and i can be the first to make that happen so �� *catwalks out of the place* So I keep doing me!! I'm not one to carry my books on my head either lol but I'm way better than the average student so I'm good. Thanks for sharing these lessons and keep doing you! You have definitely come a long way.
The whole Fashion and Medicine,sure sparks comments,I guess multi tasking is our super power,so they tend to beef us. Thanks for visiting and commenting
Ahh, I guess the consultants are same everywhere and I've learnt to not even bother with whatever they have to say as long as I know it doesn't define me. Lol you are not alone! People keep asking me Why I'm in Med school and should just go do fashion already… or they say you know you can't be a doctor and be a designer also right?… but I will always say you can never know until you try and i can be the first to make that happen so �� *catwalks out of the place* So I keep doing me!! I'm not one to carry my books on my head either lol but I'm way better than the average student so I'm good. Thanks for sharing these lessons and keep doing you! You have definitely come a long way.
God gives us our blessings in his due time. Your friends' blessings are not yours and yours will not be theirs. As for that consultant who degraded you and downplayed your intelligence, tell he/she to suck your ass (I'm speaking in reference to the vine, look it up). It's not your fault you are pretty and light-skin. And yes, you will succeed in whatever field you choose while being all of the above.
Thy Bliss Calls
I sure will pass on your message looolz. Thank you,make sure you keep visiting
Kai all this people are being so cliché, they just assume it's because you are fine or tall, well it's just because they are jealous of you and wish to be you. That one at the fashion show, just needs Jesus… he knows you are a medical student right???
Just let him be, it's people who don't have much going on in their lives that have Time to be looking at other people
Divadiari.blogspot.com
Lmao @ needs Jesus.
Whom God calls, he qualifies. That's a line I live by. You are qualified to be great.
Amen,thank you for this encouraging line
You're great! And your work is an inspiration to a lot of us out here.
I'm humbled,thank you for comment
People are so mean , i don't even get it. This is such an awesome post. If it makes you feel any better, I think you're pretty cool and successful. I mean, it's not easy to balance medical school and a modelling career at the same time and you manage it so perfectly. What I am trying to learn is that people will always talk about you whether good or bad and I'm trying to come to terms with that as I'm a very sensitive person. Thank you for your comment on my blog. xx
The kind of comments you hear in med school ehn, Christ. I developed selective hearing after a while- learn what the person has to teach professionally, chuck the rest in the bin. Don't let them get to you. They're mean to even the best.
Meanwhile we are a lot that admire you for juggling med school and a modelling career, AND a fashion blog. And you're even one of the absentee med students. That looks like success to me, and you're just getting started 😉
i know how you feel, especially when the try to belittle you
I does hurt,but you have to heal and understand life can be brutal. Thanks for your kind words
Hi Cassie, I felt really pained when I read this post because no one deserves to be talked down to or made to feel less than they should. I try my best to live by bible principles and I have found that there is at least one for every issue anyone will ever encounter in life. Lets take it from the top.
1. Comparing your achievements to others'
Gal 6:4
Common English Bible:
Each person should test their own work and be happy with doing a good job and not compare themselves with others.
GOD'S WORD Translation:
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others.
Good News Translation:
You should each judge your own conduct. If it is good, then you can be proud of what you yourself have done, without having to compare it with what someone else has done.
So you see, whoever that was had no right to compare you with others. Next time after he is done blabbing say something like: Geee thanks, but you know the best thing about all this you just said? Its just YOUR opinion. I know better. That usually cuts them to size.
2. Foul mouthed consultants and their cohorts.
1 Sam 17:28
International Standard Version:
Eliab his oldest brother heard him talking to the men. Eliab was angry with David and said, "Why did you come down here? And who did you leave those few sheep with in the wilderness? I know your insolence and wicked intentions. You came down just to see the battle!"
Well after that tirade, which was aimed at pulling david down, he walked right up to the battle field and killed Goliath. You can be sure Eliab didn't as much as say a bad word to David for the rest of his life. All you need to do, is prove to your consultants that inspite of your looks and all, you will be the best doctor you can be. Keep working hard and In time they will eat their words.
3. Letting go of friends
Eccl 3: 6
New American Standard:
A time to search and a time to GIVE UP AS LOST; A time to keep and a time to throw away.
As painful as it may be, there are times you just have to move on. But the great thing about life is : as you get older and go to more places, you will meet new people and develop many more friendships. Its an unending circle.
Sorry for the long epistle, I just couldn't help myself. Have a lovely week ahead 😉
I wish der was a "like button.. plz preach, I learnt to make God's word my standard and not mans'
Aww don't let the silly people get you down. People will always talk. Don't mind them. The first lesson is one I've had to repeat to myself so many times this year. Like Ekene, mind your own business. Dey your lane. Face your front.
By constantly striving to be a better Cassandra than you were yesterday, or last week, or last year, you'll be alright. 🙂
I am soooo glad that you know who you are in Christ.
And the truth is you are more, you are more than they think you are, you are more than you even think you are. You are all shades of amazing, perfect, brilliant, great in God's sight. He made you perfect in every way and in ways you haven't attained perfection, He is still gonna take you there.
Use the naysayers voices as fuel to get to where you wanna be. Don't strive to conform to what they think/how they think it should be done…show them how it's done the real way, God's way, God's pace, and keep shinning.
*Love, hugs and much love babes.
Hugs****
Not to create a pity party here but this is so sad, it hurts my soul that I really want to call out those that are saying such nonsense! Are you kidding me? A D U L T S??? Damn !
Is the medical school in Nigeria that emotionally abusive? Reading the other comments, you're obviously not alone too! That's terrible! But you have come so far, Med school got nothing on your destiny. God has called you for a purpose bigger than all of this
Amma tell you something as much as you know who you are Sandra, the earlier you separate yourself from such associations, the easier and better you elevate. I can't tell you how beautiful it is to define your own 'great 'as person or as an individual; people will then learn that definition, embrace and begin to love it, ( I mean what are supposed to use our twenties is for- really, copy and compete blindly? ).
You shouldn't be in the midst of such people, no offense to who they might in fact be, It's not good for your spirit neither is it good for your soul, period blank
P.S- You inspire
Xx
Coco L'Amour
Don't feel bad babe, people like this are the reason we succeed. Just ignore him and rise above.
I don't believe you get stereotyped. I mean, you're beautiful, and tall, hardworking, AND smart… You're literally badass. (Very honest opinion)
What else are they looking for? You can't be too dark.. if you're too fair, you're bleaching.."you're too tall for a girl, you won't find a husband".. If you're too short, you'll get looked down on.
Honestly, people don't know what they want. Ignore the masses and keep doing you.
I always take consolation in Eleanor Roosevelt's quote- No one can make you inferior without your consent…
It gets better with time…. You will be just fine
Hi Cassie, I think you are definitely on the right track, your own track for that matter. It's very important that we watch ourselves and be careful not to compare ourselves to others and their achievements. Sadly there are more people out there who are yet to have this realisation and so they will critique every thing you do and not have anything positive to offer you. As you rightly put it, you define your own success. I'm glad to know you have such lovely readership with all those lovely comments and encouragement. Do what you love, Love what you do xoxo
http://www.noveltyeye.co.uk
Let me just I truly enjoyed this post! It's so often we try to compare ourselves to what other people are doing… however, you made a very valid point we are all running our own race. When my friend graduated from nursing school I felt so unaccomplished and like I needed to catch up to her but I realized she was fulfilling her passion in her own way just like I am. She's into medical I'm into fashion two different roads.
Whoever made that statement to you sucks. I am happy you had the confidence to not let that deter you. Much love.
Ash,
http://www.AshleyTamarra.com
Sucks that people go about belittling others. Your journey is yours! Keep doing your thing girl! x
Aniekeme for TFLA
Great life lessons! Self awareness and the rebuilding of one's esteem truly is founded on the realisation that you alone are your biggest fan and worst critic, and once that is realised, the impact of others on this foundation is futile
BLEURGH – http://www.bleurghnow.com
I love that quote you used to start this article. Life's full of bumps and humps but what's important is we become better after going through them. Good job!
Turn up! Turn Up!! ladies and Gentle men, I finally traced your Blog of life… Been doing it in my head all the while ooo, but today ehn, i said by fire by force I must to do the real thing (okay that sounded wrong 🙂 ).. Okay! Thanks for stopping by duruadolphusjnr.blogspot.com, i was almost screaming when i saw your comment on teh Young and Confused Blog a while back, I mean you are one of the most ghen ghen bloggers around nah.. in D-banj's voice Oooooosssshhe. Sooo.. Someone tried to put you down yeah?? mehn Bubba, at a time in my life someone said in an open space: Duru doesnt know anything.. I went home and couldnt sleep, confronted the person, and almost started a brawl in an Onyibo populated area, which would have led to me being kicked out, but Thank GOD for GOD, and that the confrontation was in the smoking area. You see Bubba, people will always talk, be ye perfect or close to not very perfect, they will always have things to say, so I kindly implore you to shake it off like a wet dog, to let it slide like water on a rock. I always believe that it is only people that see good in others for which they are jealous about the prospect, that will belittle another, so let it go.. Like you said their words dont define you, it is your actions that define you. Trust me Bubba, someday, they will eat their words… Also I am learning that life is no competition, and no be who first call police go win case, so just do you, and ignore them..
P.S: Mehn In Wizkids voice… Cassie be our fine fine fine lady ehhh.. Fine lady… heheheh iTrip for the picture above.. Oya bye bye.. **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile. Cheers.
No matter how terrible what you're going through is, it'll pass. It's only a phase. that's my greatest life lesson this week
BuzzedbyBeauty
You don't know how helpful this post was. Thanks for leaving the link in your mail. Just what I needed.